05: An Object as a Story: How to Find Your Identity
Objects speak for us faster than we can come up with explanations.
Your home is a biography. Sometimes written by you. Sometimes written by a marketing team — or by your mom, or your mother-in-law.
This article is about identity, design as communication, and conscious consumption: how to recognize what’s truly yours, and how to choose objects that match the way you think — not someone else’s script.
Design Is Communication. And You Speak It Every Day
Every object communicates:
- values (care / showmanship / practicality / status worship),
- pace of life (rituals or chaos),
- your relationship with yourself (support or self-sabotage),
- cultural code (minimalism, vintage, eclecticism, brutalism).
Objects aren’t neutral. The only neutral thing is the excuse we make after an impulse buy.
You Can’t Invent Identity — You Have to Recognize It, Then Finish Shaping It
Yes, identity is “what repeats.” But there’s a catch: over the years, you can get so covered in roles that what repeats won’t be you — it’ll be what people expected from you (psychology works exactly like that).
So we’re not looking for a “correct image.” We’re looking for the living pieces of you:
- effortless desires that don’t need approval;
- interests that warm you from the inside;
- objects or ideas you believe are right even when others disagree;
- moments when you’re not performing — you’re simply there.
This isn’t wholeness yet. It’s fragments you have to gather into your own picture — so later you can underline it and keep shaping it through space, habits, people, and objects.
We’ll go deeper into this in the next chapter on authenticity: how to assemble this mosaic without self-deception.
Why We End Up Buying What Isn’t Ours
Short, but accurate:
- A social mask: “With this, I look like someone.”
- Fear of scarcity: “Get it now — it won’t be there later.”
- Exhaustion: “If I buy it, I’ll feel in control.”
- Trend instead of truth: “Everyone has this” starts sounding like “So I can afford it too.”
Conscious consumption begins the moment you can tell your own meaning apart from other people’s noise.
Identity Is a Process
This won’t be a “find yourself in 30 minutes” promise — even though we’d all love that. Identity takes years to assemble: grain by grain, through choices, mistakes, and realizations.
And for it to take shape, you don’t wait for a sudden “aha.” You turn on observation. Space and objects are a mirror. People are, too. Here are a few practices that actually work:
1) The “Micro-Yes / Micro-No” Practice
For one week, notice and write down:
- micro-yes: what in your home brings relief, calm, warmth;
- micro-no: what presses on you, irritates you — what feels “fine,” but makes you want to escape.
Yes, you may have been walking past these signals without seeing them. That’s because during the day our minds are busy hyper-fixating on what we think is important. And that word — think — matters: sometimes those “important things” are just a result of our worries.
Space helps you understand yourself — if you listen to yourself inside it.
2) The “Invisible Joys” Practice
Write down five small activities or comforts you genuinely love when nobody is watching or evaluating you.
That’s often where your real way of living is hidden — and with it, your aesthetics and your needs.
When you’re done, reread what you wrote and do a quick integrity check:
Where did each desire come from? Is it truly coming from within?
A simple test that rarely lies:
If you feel warmth inside and your whole being says “yes” — it’s yours.
If there’s no warmth, or your inner voice stays silent — it isn’t.
3) The “Someone Else’s Role” Practice
When you want to buy something, ask:
“Is this for me — or for a role I’m performing?”
If it’s for a role, that’s okay — just name the role honestly.
Then decide whether you really want to pay for it.
Translating Identity Into the Language of Objects
Your key words — the needs you identify in order to harmonize your inner state — can be “translated” into design:
- Calm / clarity → less visual noise, matte textures, simple forms, warm light.
- Strength / support → clean lines, contrast, reliable materials, stable structures.
- Care / safety → tactility, rounded shapes, safe materials, clear logic.
- Exploration / layered depth → vintage, “found objects,” but with boundaries — so your home doesn’t turn into a storage unit.
That’s the philosophy of design: not “so it looks pretty,” but so your space supports the way you think and the rhythm you live in.
How to Tell If an Object Is Truly Yours
Quick checks for conscious choosing.
The “3 Yeses” Test
An object is yours if:
- Function: I will genuinely use it.
- Body: it feels good to be near it (to look at / touch / live with).
- Meaning: it highlights my identity instead of covering up emptiness.
Test 1
If no one would ever see it — would you still want it in your space?
Test 2
How much time will this object consume: maintenance, dusting, repairs, guilt?
Beauty that steals your life isn’t aesthetics. It’s a trap.
Objects With a Story — Without Turning Your Home Into a Warehouse
If you love meaning and symbols — great. Just set boundaries:
- One in — one out (otherwise “story” turns into clutter).
- One dedicated shelf for “symbol objects” — and that’s it.
- If an object feels heavy but is “symbolic,” sometimes a photo and an honest goodbye is enough.
Time to Sum It Up
You are the author.
An object can tell a story — and that story should be yours.
Conscious consumption isn’t about restrictions. It’s about freedom of choice, and about letting objects support your identity instead of eating it away.
Next: Practice in the Real World
If you want to test this with real pieces, visit our store: see what resonates with your way of thinking and your sense of space.
And for more variations, stories, and context — you’ll find us on Instagram.
https://salviri.store
